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the vinegar strokes.

pulled a muscle in my shoulder
wanking
in a quiet corner
of the British Library
under cover of The Guardian
on my lunch hour.
but I couldn’t tell my wife that,
of course
so I said I did it
putting vinegar on my chips.
she looked a little bemused,
but I can’t help it -
it’s a bastard using a mouse
with your left hand
whilst your right
is otherwise engaged,
& I don’t know what it is, exactly,
but I do find Libby Wiener
quite babelicious.