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things that get right on my tits #1 : Fusion Food.

can we agree some things ?

 

if God had meant Stroganoff

to be gently infused with lemongrass

he’d have invented it in Thailand

right ?

if my nice rump steak

was meant to be drizzled with

an espadrille of lavender-scented honey

he’d have invented it in BodyShop

right ?

Oh, and by the way,

you know your roasted monkfish

served up with a flourish of gooseberry foam ?

Well, some kitchen-oik just hoiked-up

that “foam”   – oh yes he did

& you’re paying good money for the

contents of some Tristram’s sinuses.

 

If I have any secretions on my plate

they’d better be from Jennifer Lopez

 - or Kylie maybe,

cos anything they secrete

has got to be deee-fuckin-licious right ?